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OK, this is the page where I gather your most outlandish quotes and publish them for the world to see. We all need some philosophical refreshment, and here we have it. Boy, do we have it. 

I have recently realized that beer is not only a great beverage for breakfast, you can drink it throughout the day. Of course, if you overdo it -- like drinking in the bathroom where you open so many you can't drink them all and then you start to drown because the level of beer is over your head -- well, that's not healthy. But we're not talking extremes here.

I have a good education, but I've forgotten most everything from beer drinking. That's just fine with me because that makes every day is a refreshingly new day, filled with fascinating new discoveries. Learning things over and over, each time experiencing the childlike exultation of, "Wow, I didn't know that!" Not to mention the endless enjoyment of watching a great movie many times without ever knowing how it will end. 

Yea I'm proud of my wonderful kid. She's the apple of my eye. She is the best because of me, and also because my savior Jesus played a part, too. A most wonderful part, I might add!

We're never sick, although I think Michelle has a hernia, an ulcer, and cancer. But I pay no attention to that since she does not listen to me. Well, I never get sick and I smoke like a fish when in Vegas, where I am right now.

Rob, does your girlfriend hit you or anything like that?  I mean, has she knocked you unconscious at various times?

How could one drink and smoke and not have a healthy lifestyle?
I take vitamins, do casinos 3 times a week, and have Army reserve duty.
You have to drink more and sleep less and hate your wife; that keeps one
vital, you see.

The apartment I live in stinks, I mean really stinks. Food stuck on the
kitchen floor, flies, roaches. No dining table (and no need for one), no
couch (only a broken futon bed in the living room on which LiA and m sleep.
Zero time to buy a present for Liv's birthday. LiA constantly screaming at
me. Never can watch TV, a movie. The only thing I can do is work casinos.

No one comes here. The floors have embedded food that has turned black. No couch. No dining or kitchen table. Trash everywhere. Do you guys want to see some pictures?

Someday you'll be on your death bed, withering away, spouses long gone, thinking, "I'm scared shitless to die because I realize it's ridiculous to think that every human ever born or will be born lives on after death. This life is all there was and I didn't go to Vegas on 28 August 1999 to meet Frosty."

The only time I ever eat is when I am driving or standing over the sink. I eat a variety of nutritive foodstuffs without regard to taste. The same as fueling my truck.

When do I sleep? I sleep at red lights. The cars behind me blow the horn and then I go.

[Today I fed some homeless people.] The homeless people were quite old and speaking a strange language. But I did hear a thank you. They thought I was Jesus, I think. And what did Jesus do? Well, he inspired poor, wretched people. So in effect, I was Jesus. If the time were right a book could be written about my actions by onlookers. Does anyone find any error in that reasoning?

Do you want some pictures [of your wife]? 

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